1978 Lincoln Continental Automatic 4-Door Sedan

Car is in spooky good shape. All the stuff works, engine runs, brakes stop, wipers wipe and the 8 track rolls all 8 tracks ... If you don't know what an 8 track is, go have your folks educate you. Car weighs more than most school buses and it'll haul nearly as many people. Give it a shot on Uber ... if you don't know what Uber is, go ask your kid to educate you.

Here's the good: - Cooler than American Bandstand - Can be used as a battering ram during castle siege - Pimps will ask you for directions - Won't spin the tires on ice ... weighs too much - Women won't ask to "go back to your place" ... already SO much room! - Guys will buy you drinks just to let them sit behind the wheel - Next year it'll be 30 - You can spend your Friday and Saturday nights cruising Nevada Ave.

Here's the bad: - You'll need a new license picture as no one will recognize the new "much cooler" you - AirBNB will take 25% of all the revenue for renting out the trunk - It'll be cooler than you ... forever - If you're married, you may end up divorced because of all the strange this car will pull - Chuck Norris will no longer be the baddest donkey on the planet

You get the idea. Look, it's old, but it's cool. It runs and parts aren't that hard to find. Stops, turns and rides like you're floating on air. Zero of your friends will be like "ah, man ... I guess it's okay". Comes with a box of working 8 tracks, a couple spare parts, a Chilton manual, some seat covers, that missing piece of trim and a whole new outlook on life.